you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize