My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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