I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
