Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
