Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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