Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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