mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently you make a good broom.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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