I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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