We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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