you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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