I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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