She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
