At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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