I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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