One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
