Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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