you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You made out with two different species that night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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