Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
