and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize