how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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