is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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