I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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