I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
