I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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