We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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