Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i came on her dog
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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