You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
