Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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