Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't shave. On purpose
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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