I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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