I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
