the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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