Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
