I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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