I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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