The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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