Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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