when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
