My brain says no but my pants say off.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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