i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have already put on my inside pants.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
