I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
