What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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