thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
