I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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