talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
