i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
