I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
