So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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