I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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