I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
