Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
