He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
