So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
