I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
