whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
