so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
