you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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