My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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