they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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