hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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