shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
