Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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